I love the summer holidays. But if, like me, you are juggling a full time job with family life, and have kids which need alot of entertaining (!), they can also seem like hard work at times! Here some tips that help me keep sane!
- Try to one thing for yourself everyday. This is hard when you have kids at home all day, but I find it super improtant to try and do one little thing that brings me joy each day... whether its a 10 minute walk around the field with the dog, or a trip to the supermarket, or a quick nail polish at the local salon.
- Try to do one thing for each of the kids every day. My kids are much more content (and easier!) if I do one thing for them each day. It doesn't have to be a big thing, or expensive! Just something to make them feel valued or like they have had their way (!) at some point in the day. Whether it be driving them to a friends, or taking them to the shops to buy their favourite ice cream, or playing their favourite game, or if they are younger take them to the park or for an ice cream.
- Pick your battles. The school holidays are long and there will be plenty that you all disagree on. Don't sweat the small stuff, just save your energy for the more important battles that compromise their health or safety. This way it won't feel like a contant warzone and they will feel like they have a little more freeedom and independence than if they are nagged and bossed around all day. They are also then more likely to listen when you tell them not to do the dangerous stuff.
- Give them a choice of jobs. Mine hate being told what to do, but obviously there plenty of things that need doing all over the holidays. So I tend to give mine a choice. Do you want to lay the table or clear away the taable? Do you wnt to hang up the laundry or put the laundry away? This way they afeel like they have a bit more control and it feels less like you are telling them what to do.
- Try not to ban things like phones as a punshiment. It ends up with them hating you more, and making your life harder (as they don't have the one thing that they like that keeps them entertained.) Plus they are more likely to resent you and play up in the future.
- Get them to do paid jobs. Jobs you might usually pay someone to do, like cleaning the windows or doing the cleaning, or washing the car, try getting them to do and pay them instead. Mine love to earn a bit of pocket money! Also makes them feel useful and valued and more grown up.
- Make sure you all get a bit of exercise each day. It makes you feel better, less on top of each other, and usually means you all sleep better and wake up in a better mood too.
- Don't drink too much! It's temping to drink more alcohol in the summer holidays, and seems like a great idea at the time, but I find that if I have drunk more than usual then I wake up a bit less patient the next day!
- Take time out. If you feel yourself getting wound up, then try to take some time out from the rest of the family for even jsut a few minutes. If your kids are young and it's hard to leave the house, maybe something like tidying the airing cupboard, or hanging out the washing in the garden, or even going to the toilet will give you a tiny breather and let you calm down a bit.
- Try to mantain kindness. Sometimes it is necessary to exert some control over your kids, but try not to hurt their feelings if you can, at the root of it all remember you love them and they you, and try to always value your 'connection' with them. I know it sounds cheesy but if you ruin your connection then they will end up being worse behaved. Try to make them feel loved at all times, even when you are really mad at them! Try saying things like 'I dislike your behaviour', rather than something like 'You are so naughty I really hate you'.
Somethings to bear in mind over the holidays whilst you are with the kids alot:
- Remember your kids copy you and everything you say and do, so exhibit the behaviour you want to model
- Remember their brains are not fully developed but yours is! You need to be the adult and lead by example, and let them off every now and again.
- Remember the way you speak to them becomes their inner voice when they are older, you want them to speak to themselves kindly and with respect.
A podcast that I have found super helpful over the years is this one: Peace and Parenting by Michelle Kenney.
Happy holidaying!
Lucy x
